A Good Reason to Beat Your Head In
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: There's rarely a good enough reason in the world to make one sit there and ram their head against the wall from fear, but there are a few reasons and this was one of them. Implied KF/Rob


**So… I was reading on my phone (I can't review, I can barely read!) and its four inch screen when I found this story. I don't remember the name, but in it, Robin and Wally were sexting. I finally figured out what phone sex is, glad to see I had that last giggity part right, but it inspired this because the brilliant authoress didn't include this part. Or at least I don't think she did… I mean… There were like, three other chapters… **

**Oh, and if anyone can find the authoress for me, please have her contact me or something so I can review her story. I desperately need to. It's a habit of mine. I hate when people don't review mine, unless it's hardcore M-rated which I can understand, but I always try to…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, none at'll. (uh-tall)**

* * *

When Wally ate, it was such a dangerous spectacle that no one ever dared to intervene.

It was like watching a young toddler throw a tantrum of the temperest, their eyes screwed up and angered raspy screams pouring past their wide open mouths. It's easier to let it blow over, letting sleepiness step in so you won't have to, rather than trying to step in and getting attacked by a barrage of angry punches and kicks aimed to either kill you or severely injure you. There are a few willing to risk the bruises and the odd stares as they plunge into Ground Zero and restrain the small child, dragging them back home with flustered blushes and angry faces.

Unlike the misbehaving toddler in the store though, no one ever interrupted Wally. They usually averted their eyes or took a step back to avoid getting hit by flying, run-away food or something of a similar disgusting manner. If they could, they'd take the option to leave the room and take cover behind several walls, doors, couch backs or anything else they could use that would bar them away from the disgusting act happening in the kitchen that was being defiled while they hid.

There was a first time for everything though, no matter how long it took to come around. The first _official _time was with Robin, but best friends always put up with your flaws so that was like a lesbian fuck- you still get to do it, but it doesn't officially take away your virginity for the circumstance**[1]**. The first to actually commit said actions when going by the technicalities was Artemis, her reasoning written clearly across her worried features.

Even though eyes of emerald clearly noted the fear, the attached pale hands didn't lower the sandwich in them, nor did the white teeth stop from tearing through the six layered 'snack'. Instead, Wally just turned his eyes her way, seeming slightly annoyed that his precious 'Wally-Time' was being interrupted. He grumbled out something, everything muffled dramatically by the food that blocked his vocal chords from emitting the question that was easily read in his eyes.

'_What do you want?' _

Artemis narrowed her eyes at the sandwich in his hand, grabbing it and chucking it towards the garbage disposal in the sink before widening her eyes again. Wally's face scrunched up, pure murder written into his features, ready to kill the blonde who dared ruin his beautiful creation. She simply rolled her eyes.

"Come on Kid Doofus, it's an emergency!" she urged, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away in a designated direction her mind had set.

The ginger swatted her hands away, obviously determined to stay pissed at her until she apologized for hurting his sandwich. He was a little curious though, leaning back on the counter and raising an eyebrow.

"… I'm listening…" he prompted her to go on, a frown staying hard on his lips, his eyes darting over to the defenseless food in the sink.

It was wet and soggy now. The poor thing had never stood a chance against a woman with such rage. It deserved better than this though! Wally's attention was ripped from food for once though with her next two, well chosen words.

"It's Robin."

* * *

When Wally ran into the room used for mission briefings, his blur cut short at the 'emergency' he was met with. Robin was standing against one of the walls, repeatedly bashing his head against the concrete ahead of him, easily breaking past Zatanna's desperate attempts to stop him. She wasn't using magic like she easily could've. No, she was going muggle and trying to stop him by simply holding his arms like handcuffs. Green eyes grew wide and a blur cut across the floor, long-sleeved white arms wrapping tightly around the smaller boy's chest, wrenching him from the wall.

Robin gave a terrified cry, tensing up in such a fearful manner that Wally actually gave off a depressed, 'aww…' but he refused to let go of the little ebony. When the muscular boy recognized the watch on the left wrist of the arms binding him, he relaxed a little, going back to muttering under his breath. He tried to break away for the wall again, but Wally wasn't going to let blood mat the soft black hair that was slowly attempting to choke him.

"I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!" the ginger picked out of the younger boy's muttered cries, his eyes widening in surprise.

Wally questionably met Zatanna's eyes, his lids narrowing in accusation, already planning where to bury her body if it was indeed her who was torturing his best pal to this degree. The magician helplessly shrugged, worry clear in her expression. The glare was held a bit longer, just in case she was faking, but her emotions seemed sincere enough. She seemed to be innocent, but he had been wrong about Roy too so he wasn't all too reliant on his judgment.

"Rob…" he cooed lightly, his voice gentle, "What's wrong?"

The blue eyed babe shivered, his true pain hidden behind two black panes of glass that kept his identity a better secret than it did when the shades were off. His face was red, his body nearly going limp. His words changed, but they were barely above a breath.

"Um… bro… I'm not Supey. You're going to have to speak up…" Wally pointed out, his eyebrows worriedly furrowed.

Zatanna _did _do something! Wally was already arranging to drive the kitchen knives through all of the dead space in her skin as to not kill her immediately and to leave her for death in either Bavaria or Superman's Fortress of Solitude, until he finally understood his buddy's whispers.

"Batman has my phone," Robin cried in a soft voice, raising his hands to pull at his hair to lessen the stress.

Wally lowered his arms to where the ebony's arms bent, securing them to an angle no less than 90 degrees so no pain could be self-inflicted, or at least to the perfect little face.

"So…?" he probed, desperately hoping to pull a good answer out with him.

He snagged _an _answer, but it wasn't one he wanted. He was thankful to get one at all, but he had been hoping for something that he could actually find reason in without having to think too hard on it.

"He's going to read my messages!" Robin sounded a little strained as he explained it, but the fear was still as clear as the brightest day.

Wally lifted the bird up off of the ground, the tight jean-covered knees already bent as the little body went completely limp with terror. It was easier this way, despite how quickly the fragile frame in his arms tensed up. An uncomfortable blush crept under hidden blue eyes, the youngest member of the team trying to escape desperately now. He had nothing against the hug; he just wasn't big on affection.

"Quit squirming," the ginger's voice was soft and soothing, his arms determinately locked. "I'll put you down when you get to the point and tell me why the hell I walked in on you trying to beat your head in."

Robin let his body hang over the muscled arms like a towel on a towel rack, studying the floor intensely. He swallowed hard, more than half-tempted to face-palm at his buddy's stupidity. He couldn't blame the ginger for not remembering though. He didn't want to remember it. It was there in the back of his mind though and it had no intention of going away.

"I didn't delete our messages from last night," he gave up, speaking loud enough for the ginger to hear through tightly gritted teeth.

It took a second for the words to sink in, but when they did, a heavy blush surfaced in their place. Wally's lips opened in horror, his knees weakening as he slowly lowered Robin to the floor, unable to breathe from the terror that ran through him. He wasn't quite sure of what to say, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"W-Well…" he stared at the wall absently, his cheeks a girlish tint, "… Fuck."

Robin waddled back over to the wall, starting to ram his head against it again, continuing his muttering. Wally joined him, matching his rhythm and tone as they muttered their presumed upcoming fate. Zatanna and Artemis watched wordlessly, both confused beyond belief.

"What could they possibly text that's _that _bad?" Artemis whispered to the ebony beside her, folding her arms over her chest.

Zatanna helplessly shrugged, flipping her hair back out of habit. She had no time to think on it though as Wally and Robin both straightened up in sync, rushing to her side. The shorter among them grabbed her by her shoulders, his desperately wide eyes shaded.

"Zatanna. You have to get my phone back. _Please_," he pleaded, desperation clear in his voice. "This is… a matter of _my _life and… KF's death."

Wally's eyes widened in offense and he leaned over, lightly hitting Robin with the back of his hand.

"Who says he'll spare you?" the ginger argued with a pout.

"_The custody papers," _rang around inside the dark blue eyed boy's head, but he never opened his lips.

If he did, he knew they could always finish their conversation as zombies on the way to the morgue because only the good _die _young and 'good' wasn't on the list of adjectives generally used to describe the two of them. With the inspiration of not wanting to have rotting flesh and a nose hole in his face instead of the sharp-edged piece of flesh he currently had, he turned his worry to the girl he held in place.

"But seriously. Do whatever you have to do. I _really _don't want to die," he urged her, lowering his hands and running them through his hair fearfully.

Zatanna glanced back at Artemis, as if for approval before she raised her hands and suspiciously closed her eyes.

"Um… Eveirter…" she began slowly, stopping when she heard the portal announce the Dark Knight's appearance.

Robin and Wally froze, their eyes wide and their hearts hammering. They exchanged glances, both coming to the same conclusion.

"We're dead," they agreed, taking off and bolting as fast as they physically could, the fear on their faces leaving a cold trail behind them.

Zatanna and Artemis watched on in confusion, as did Batman once he saw the pant leg of his sidekick disappear through a doorway. He watched the door for a moment, as if suspecting this to be a prank of sorts, before he turned his eyes to the girls in the room.

"Did I… miss something?" he asked slowly.

The girls both shrugged hopelessly, moving closer to each other as the Dark Knight passed by them in the direction of the two runaways. They patiently waited a good half-minute before exchanging the exact same thoughts. Zatanna smirked to herself, holding her hands up and closing her eyes.

"Enohp s'niboR em gnirb!" she commanded, grinning as an expensive looking I-Phone fell into her hands.

She grinned over at Artemis before quickly going to the message inbox, finding Wally's name and cruising to the top of their conversation, slowly reading every exchange. Almost instantly, both blonde and ebony were blushing heavily, their lips hung open in disbelief.

"No way!" Artemis laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.

Zatanna was afraid to look away, her eyes wide as every sexually worded text traumatized her further.

"I-I never knew… Robin was so…" she forgot how to speak, her lips hung open in horror at one of the lines.

Artemis had been knocked to the floor, sobbing with laughter, hugging her trembling sides as tears burnt to the surface.

"K-Kinky?" she gasped out between laughs, doubling over and giggling in pure amusement.

In a second, Zatanna found humor in the dirty exchange, giggling with the blonde. She sent the phone back, laughter tearing at her sides all the while she planned what to wear when she attended Wally and Robin's funerals.

* * *

**[1] Credit to Neena Payne for finding a loophole, making one particular lunch conversation amusing enough to stick with me. I know you'll never read this, but… Even when I know I'm not the best friend you need, I love you girly and I hope you never forget that… **

**I can't write phone sex. I mean, I can role play and actually write out what happens like an actual story, but I can't have phone sex. I'm challenged when it comes to this, so take the hint and realize that Robin and KF had phone sex and that's why they both think they're dead. Sorry if it's confusing. It's like… 10 at night and I'm hyped up on Easter candy. Review?**

**-F.J. **


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